10 mistakes new parents make & how to avoid them

To become a new parent is a huge life change. One day you're living your own life, and the next you're responsible for a little human's well-being and happiness. It's a mix of scary, exciting, and completely overwhelming emotions. 

The truth is, every new parent messes up. Even those picture-perfect parents you see online are probably up at 3 AM searching ‘why won't my baby stop crying’ just like you. The good news is that most parenting mistakes aren't a big deal. But some common errors can add stress to your life, and even impact your baby's health.

Let’s have a look at common mistakes that new parents often make in a state of confusion. If you know about these common mistakes, it  can help you feel more confident and prepared.

1. Overfeeding or Misreading Hunger Cues

Mistake: It's easy to think every cry means your baby's hungry and then try to stick to a strict feeding schedule no matter what. While feeding often calms a crying baby, they cry for many reasons. Your baby may be tired, need a diaper change, want to be held, or simply be a bit fussy.

How To Avoid This: Watch for signs like them turning their head and opening their mouth when you touch their cheek (rooting), sucking on their hands, or making smacking sounds with their lips. These signals often appear before they even start to cry.

2. Not Taking Care of Yourself

Mistake: It's easy for new parents to pour all their energy into caring for their baby and neglect their own needs completely. You might feel guilty taking time for yourself, which can lead to skipped meals, missed showers, no rest, and ignoring your mental health struggles. It's a common thought that the baby should always come first.

How To handle this: To take care of yourself is very important, not selfish! When you're well-rested, fed, and feeling good emotionally, you're much better at looking after your baby. So, don't be afraid to accept help. 

When someone offers, give them specific tasks, like ‘Could you bring dinner on Tuesday?’ or ‘Could you hold the baby while I shower?’ Try to sleep when the baby sleeps, even if it's just for a short nap – forget about chores during that time. Also, make sure to eat regular meals, even if they're simple, and keep easy, one-handed snacks nearby.

3. Comparing Your Baby to Others

Mistake: It's a common mistake to constantly worry because your baby isn't reaching milestones at the same time as other babies their age. For example, your friend's baby might have slept through the night early, while your 3-month-old is still waking up often. Or maybe your sister's baby rolled over at 4 months, but your 6-month-old hasn't yet. 

How to Avoid This: Try not to worry too much about comparing your baby to others. All babies grow and learn at their speed, and what's considered ‘normal’ can vary a lot. For example, some babies might start walking at 9 months, while others might not walk until 15 months, and both are perfectly fine.

4. Not Establishing Boundaries with Visitors

Mistake: When your new baby arrives, it feels like everyone wants to visit. Your family, friends, neighbours, and even coworkers will be eager to meet your little one. You might feel pressured to say yes to every visit, worrying you'll upset people or seem unappreciative if you decline. But constantly having guests over, especially when you're tired and need some quiet time, can be a real problem.

How to Avoid This: It's okay to say no to visitors, especially in the first few weeks. Your job is to take care of your baby and yourself, not to entertain people.

When you do have visitors, set clear expectations. Let them know how long they can stay, what time works best, and what you need from them. It's perfectly fine to say ‘you can visit from 2-4 PM, and we'd love it if you could bring dinner.

5. Overthinking Every Decision

The Mistake: You research every tiny choice to death and constantly second-guessing yourself.

Should you use cloth or disposable diapers? Is it okay to let your baby sleep in your room? What if you choose the wrong car seat? Which baby food brand is best? You find yourself reading 20 articles about pacifiers and still feeling unsure.

This kind of overthinking can paralyse you. You spend more time researching than actually parenting, and you're always worried you're making the wrong choice.

How to Avoid This: Trust your instincts more than you think you should. You know your baby better than any expert or book does. If something feels right for your family, it probably is.
Pick one or two trusted sources for information instead of reading everything online. Too many opinions just make decisions harder.

6. Being Too Rigid with Schedules

Mistake: If you try to force your baby into a strict schedule that doesn't match their natural needs is a common mistake. You might read somewhere that babies should eat every three hours or nap precisely at 10 AM and 2 PM, or perhaps a family member insists on a rigid routine from day one. 

This often leads to constantly watching the clock, trying to make your baby eat or sleep at specific times, even when they're not hungry or tired. This approach can make both you and your baby miserable.

How To Handle This: Instead of forcing a strict schedule, create a flexible routine. Pay attention to your baby's natural patterns. Do they usually get hungry every 2 hours or every 4 hours? When do they naturally seem sleepy?

Build a routine around what your baby already does, not what a book says they should do. If your baby always gets fussy around 6 PM, plan for that.

7. Ignoring Their Partner's Needs and Communication

Mistake: It's easy to get so caught up with a new baby that you forget about your partner. You're both tired, stressed, and learning to be parents, which can make you stop talking about anything but the baby. 

How to Avoid This: Make time to talk to each other every day, even if it's just for 10 minutes. Ask how they're feeling and actually listen to the answer.

Be clear about what you need from each other. Don't expect your partner to read your mind. If you need them to take the night shift so you can get some sleep, please let them know.

Share baby duties fairly, but don't keep score of every little thing. Some days, one person will do more, and that's okay as long as it balances out over time.

8. Buying Too Much Unnecessary Baby Gear

Mistake: It's easy to make a mistake by buying every baby product that promises to make parenting simpler or better. When you go into a baby store, you'll see tons of items that look essential, like special bottles, high-tech monitors, expensive clothes, learning toys for newborns, and gadgets for everything. You might start to believe you need all of it to be a good parent.

How to Avoid This: Start with the basics: somewhere safe to sleep, diapers, clothes, food, and a car seat. That's really it for the first few months. Before buying something, ask yourself: ‘What problem does this solve?’ and 'Do I actually have this problem?’ If you don't have a real need for it, don't buy it.

9. Not Asking for Help When Needed

The Mistake: Trying to handle everything alone and refusing help when people offer it.
You may think that good parents should be able to handle everything by themselves. When people offer help, you say ‘no thanks, we've got it’ even when you're drowning. You don't want to seem like you can't handle being a parent, or you don't want to bother anyone.

How To handle This: It's okay to need help; every parent, even those with lots of kids, does. When friends or family offer help, tell them exactly what you need. They could bring food, watch your baby so you can shower, grab groceries, or just come over so you can nap.

10. Forgetting That Every Baby is Different

Mistake: It's a common mistake to think that what helped other babies sleep well will automatically work for your little one. Maybe your first child was a great sleeper, and now you're surprised your second isn't. Or perhaps your friend's baby loved being swaddled, but yours just fusses and fights it.

How To Avoid This: Instead of trying to make your baby fit a general idea of how babies should be, pay close attention to your own baby. Figure out what helps them calm down, what makes them happy, and what seems to upset them.

You may also like to read: Baby milestones: one to six months

Final Thoughts

It's tough being a new parent, and everyone messes up sometimes. The good news is most mistakes won't harm your baby and can even teach you what's best for your family. You don't have to be perfect; just love your baby and do your best, which you're already doing.